Too young to go

Hi. Grandma passed away on the 28 March. When I heard the news, I was only not surprised. Sad, but I never cried coz I was freaking still working on my installation. Since the last time I saw her, I had wanted to go back a few times. But I was advised to conserve my leave till 'it happens'. It did finally happen.

It happened on the day when my month long installation was to come to its end. Earlier that morning, sis called me to go home as soon as I could... grandma did not look so good. Throughout the 2 weeks that she was in hospital, there were ups and downs and so it could well be another false alarm. Somehow from the last time I went back, I knew that could be the last time I saw her....

I went back that evening, sis picked me up. We went to get some things that mum and her missed out earlier... for rituals and funeral clothings bla bla. We went for dinner and sis filled me in on what had happened in the weeks before. Most of what was said was about some inheritance.

I reached home only to greet my dad who instantly fell to tears as he opened the gate for me. All the tentages were already well mounted. At the far end, mum sat at a table with the only two visitors, my third aunt and uncle. Quickly mum stood up and hugged me as she too burst into tears. I turned to the house. I saw the picture of grandma at the centre. The table was set with joss sticks, paper house and the works. But the picture... was one that I have always seen hung in the house - one of grandma when she was much younger... maybe in her 50s.

Behind this picture laid the coffin where grandma rested in peace. I refrained from crying... I kneeled and spoke to grandma for a few moments, and then I went to the back... where grandpa rested. My aunt and uncle from Singapore already got back and another aunt was there too. I went to grandpa and then and as he saw me... he started bursting in tears. I too started my own. I held grandpa's hand tight as we both cried there for a few minutes. I have never been this close to grandpa. Mostly grandma doted on us. Grandpa said "grandma loves him very much" to the rest and "he is very guai"... I have never seen granpa cry.

Most of the nights I stayed up to accompany grandma. Over the next few days, more friends and relatives started visiting. We had Sri Lankan monks chanting the mantra every night and it was very meaningful. Everynight, every other hour.. grandad would walk out of his room to take a look at grandma. He hardly slept those days. He'd lost his only soulmate in this world. Married for almost 60 years, hardly a day went by where they were apart. They did everything together. Very health conscious, successful business people, who led a disciplined lifestyle. The last time I went back, grandad came on the bed where grandma laid and held her hand as if it was their first date. 84 is too young to die for someone who has has better cholesterol control than me, normal heart pressure, non-diabetic. Only thing dissapointing her was she had arthritis on the leg and parkinson's disease, which she controlled diligently by lots of exercise, medication, diet and healthy lifestyle.



This is me staying up during the nights, so that those who knew what to do can work on the funeral and arrangements and guests in the day.

Its a pity to watch her go. She would have lived another 10 15 years easily but fate was not meant to be. Along with other reasons, I came back to Singapore and Malaysia to spend more time with my family, like seeing them more often. Two years back I promised grandma I'd come back and spend CNY with them back in 2004 but I couldn't bcoz I was waiting for my PR. Tho I was late by a year, and I had so much fun living at home celebrating with family after 4 years of not being around for CNY.